I think Sir Winston once said “Never, Never, Never Give Up” but then I quickly remember the definition of insanity – extreme foolishness or irrationality.  As you can tell a clear decision has yet to be made…unfortunately.

We’ve decided to speak with various builders which have been referred to us (thanks to many of you) and see where we stand when comparing what it will actually cost to complete our home versus what is remaining in our budget.  (I think we’ll need a magician)

I know we both fell in love with this ugly house when we first saw it and emotionally we fell even further as we envisioned the memories that would be made and the future it would hold for us, but we’ve come to realize that it just may be unachievable now thanks to all that has transpired.

It’s depressing and it’s extremely tough for me not to feel defeated in numerous ways and levels.   There have certainly been high’s but the low’s have been numerous and more constant.  This place which use to bring me so much excitement has unfortunately become such a source of negative energy and feelings for me that unless we come up with a solution fairly quickly it will probably be best to just abandon this dream and try to eventually start a new one. 

I also need to clean up after our former GC as he’s left everything in quite a mess,but for a place that I once would make any excuse just to go over there and spend time splitting wood, moving dirt or just sitting there envisioning “one day”, I now find myself actually trying to avoid it.

“When you feel like giving up remember why you held on for so long in the first place”

And now to exhaust every potential avenue…initially the biggest challenge will be summoning the energy to explore them.